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Andrew Wake

The 'Good Enough' Parent

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How to provide for your child's social and emotional development
Do you worry about your children?
Are you confused or confronted by their emotional outbursts?
Do you often find yourself wondering, 'What do I do now?'
Child and adolescent psychiatrist Andrew Wake has worked with children, adolescents and their parents for more than ten years, and knows how difficult it can be for parents to manage their own emotions let alone help their children manage theirs.
He explains that children naturally want everything, but that our job as parents is to give them 'just enough'. Indeed, parenting can be thought of as a gradual shift from 'saving' our children (telling them what to do) to 'supporting' them (allowing them the freedom to learn for themselves).
Dr Wake demystifies children's behaviour by explaining how their brains and their early attachment experiences work together to influence their emotional development.
He offers practical advice on:
— responding to strong emotions
— setting boundaries
— communicating as a family
Peppered with excellent case studies, this reassuring book will inspire confidence in parents, carers and anyone who works with children.
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Дата публікації оригіналу
2014
Рік виходу видання
2014
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  • Артем Малахивскийцитує3 роки тому
    Reflect on your children’s world and how predictable it is:

    When and how do they wake up?
    What happens between waking and getting to school? (Schools tend to do ritual well – think of the school bell, break times, the timetable, the uniform, the rules etc.)
    What happens between school ending and dinnertime?
    What happens at dinner? (When, how, what and with whom do they eat?)
    What happens after dinner up until bedtime?
    What is the ritual around bedtime and sleep?
    What happens to the routine on weekends?
    If your child lives in two separate houses, what is the ritual around leaving one household and entering the other?
    What are the rituals around school holidays?
    What is the ritual around any physical affection?
    What ‘family time’ rituals do you have? (E.g. Do you provide a brief regular family time where any family issues can be discussed? Do you regularly get together as a family to play games or be playful together? Or at least eat together?)
  • Артем Малахивскийцитує3 роки тому
    When children are safe enough, you can then move to consider other needs:

    Do they have enough nutritious food and adequate exercise?
    Do they have optimal medical treatment for any physical or mental illnesses?
    Are they are attending a school that meets their educational and social needs?
    Do they have enough ritual and routine in their life, especially around sleeping?
    Are they broadly connected within their community?
    Do they have a healthy balance of activity and boredom?
    Do they hear ‘no’ and miss out enough so they can get angry and then learn how to get over it? (See Chapter 9.)
    Are they prevented from experiencing adult activities prematurely?
  • Артем Малахивскийцитує3 роки тому
    Stage 4: Step in and sort it out

    At this point you need to tell your child, ‘You did your best but I’m going to help you now with your problem.’ (Even at this final stage, you want to keep it clear that the problem is not yours but his).

    Tell your child what he needs to do to feel safe and soothed again.
    Enlist support from the other parent. At this stage you just have to keep going as a parenting unit, doing whatever it takes until the crisis is resolved, and in most situations your family’s resources will be enough.
    H
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