Biteback Publishing

was kindly enough, but I knew she was here to probe my foster parents and then me about my merits, misdemeanours and character flaws. Miss F’s regular visits were a constant reminder of my privileged status

As the American novelist F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, ‘The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.’

This book is essential reading for all who wish for a better world.

But there was little that was normal about mine and our family’s relationship with Dad. I certainly didn’t love him, whatever that meant.

The US Government sent 10,000 medical kits, 20,000 blankets, $30 million cash, and today the people of New Orleans said: ‘They did what?’

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.

I invited everyone in my neighbourhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

According to the latest poll, a record 73 per cent of Americans think the country is headed in the wrong direction. But the good news: gas is so expensive that we’ll never get there.

Your friend the British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office.

I’m still recovering from a shock. I was nearly drafted. It’s not that I mind fighting for my country, but they called me at a ridiculous time: in the middle of a war.