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But the driven person is never at peace with the soul, for the productivity is a defense against the angst of powerlessness. In the field of intimate relationships, this strategy plays out in being a controlling person or in being attracted to one easily controlled. The partners in such a relationship operate in the realm of power, not love,
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since the psycho-logic of the powerless person is to seize as much power as possible and work life so as not to replay the deep fears felt as a child.

It is very hard not to see oneself as the byproduct of one's personal history

o at some point, each of us is obliged to say, "I am not only what happened to me; I am also what I choose to become."