The Grief Recovery Handbook for Pet Loss

Those behaviors may be a tip-off that you are emotionally incomplete with something that’s currently happening in your life, or with something from your past that has been reignited.

Since we learn to cover up, hide, or bury our feelings under food when we are very young, it’s not surprising that sometime later some of us adapt that same behavior and start covering up our feelings under alcohol or other drugs.

If you try to “be strong” or hide your feelings, you will mislead your pets, because what you say and the body language you demonstrate will not match up to what you are actually feeling. We suggest that you talk openly and honestly to your living pets about the feelings of sadness you have about your pet that died. Your emotional truth can’t hurt them, but covering up your real feelings can be very confusing.

The incorrect idea behind keeping busy is that as you busy yourself doing things, time will pass, and magically, you’ll feel better. This just isn’t true.

Imagine if after your mother died, someone said to you, “Don’t feel bad, she was just a woman.” Or, “Don’t feel bad, just go out and get another mother.” Those remarks sound absurd and even cruel.

There are no stages of grief. But people will always try to fit themselves into a defined category if one is offered to them.