Patriarchy has been very efficient in countering the noise of feminism with epithets – ‘shrill’, ‘hysterical’ – intended to send women’s voices scurrying back, abject, underground
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whom she will take to task in the course of her life.
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‘Something is moving inside me and wants to come out . . . In my “soul” a totally new, original form is ripening that ignores all rules and conventions.
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wanted to act not herself, but – like and unlike – beyond herself
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to become somebody else
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suffering is not a failure, but the springboard for, a way of loosening, something else
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In fact the discipline and the inner torment are the reverse sides of the same coin.
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She is referring to one of a number of childhood figures who made her deeply ashamed of herself