The New Father

• She can’t, however, differentiate herself from the other objects in her world. If she grasps your hand, for example, her little brain doesn’t know whether she’s holding her own hand or yours—or, for that matter, that those things on the ends of her arms even belong to her.

Back in the 1970s, Dr. Martin Greenberg did a study of fathers who were present for their child’s delivery (which was relatively rare then). The men in his study had many of the above feelings, and Greenberg coined a term, engrossment, to describe “a father’s sense of absorption, preoccupation, and interest in his baby.”

If you and your partner are fluent in different languages, and you want your baby to grow up speaking both, this is the time to start compartmentalizing them. What I mean is that you should establish some clear boundaries—English only with Daddy, Russian with Mommy, French with the babysitter—and stick with them. We’ll talk more about this throughout the book.

The American Dietetic Association recommends that parents refrain from giving their babies juice until they’re at least six months old, and then restrict juice intake until age two.

make sure you keep at least one hand on your baby at all times. Newborns are surprisingly strong—and clever too—and she’ll pick the precise second you choose to turn around to propel herself over the edge.

Stay away from commercial baby wipes for the first few weeks. Even the ones that are alcohol-free contain too many chemicals for brand-new skin. Use wet washcloths (room temperature is fine) or cotton balls instead.

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist,

Fathering often helps men to clarify their values and to set priorities

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist

Joseph Garcia’s Sign with Your Baby