I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

The important thing here isn’t whether you are being loved, it’s how you will accept the love that comes your way.

hated myself for such a long time. But there have always been people who love me! And I don’t love myself, but I do love others.

Psychiatrist: I’m only saying you should enjoy the freedom of your own thoughts.

I must be a really comforting presence to her, which is why she’s telling me these things, it’s not because she looks down on me.

I also didn’t know how to not blame myself for weaknesses or faults.

Psychiatrist: Of course you did. You’ve revealed feelings you’ve kept hidden for decades, of course you’re going to feel embarrassed. Think of it as a transitional phase.

anxiety towards new situations and how I appear to others, and how this comes out as hostility towards others – these were all problems so entrenched that it seemed hopeless to try to solve them.

Psychiatrist: Fear increases when it’s something that you keep to yourself. Instead of suffering alone, it can often be good to share it with someone else, like you’re doing now.

People say I’m very honest. But I thought to myself: Am I really an honest person? And I realised the part of me that I hide from all others is this part.

But the crux of the matter is that you keep believing you have to meet other people’s expectations—