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Книжки
Amy Mah

VAMPIRE

This very funny vampire novel is very different from your normal vampire book and not just because it is bursting with full colour art fitted in with the text showing the life of a young vampire forced to walk about in a transparent nightdress all day without underwear because that is what female vampires are supposed to do!

Unlike the undead sex mad vampire maids, Amy was a living vampire and the main difference apart from having better teeth and a pulse, meant she felt and suffered the cold invasive winds blowing along the corridors, most female vampire called them male winds due to the way they were always trying to rip the nightdresses off them.

From fighting in skin tight painted on body suits to learning to hang upside down from a ceiling in a nightdress without showing the world what you had for lunch, was just the start of her vampire training program.

And yes it's normal for a girl to dream about Guys, even if the girl happens to be a blood sucking denizen of the night — — — — It's just that this denizen wishes the dreams could involve chocolates and holding hands and not leaping out on someone, ripping his shirt off and demanding to know what blood type he is, well at least not on the first date.

(Amy the vampire:……
“The massacre on 22nd and 3rd was greatly exaggerated by the human newspapers and not altogether my fault. It was my very first hunting trip, and a girl should not be judged by her first bite night. And no one ever talks about me saving the life of that cat. Besides, most of them kind of killed themselves without any help from me.”…………….

“And before tonight it was only one male that I killed by ripping his throat out with my teeth.”………….
«And no, I did not then eat him. I don't normally eat vampires. I think I just chewed and swallowed what I had in my mouth after I bit him. That was all, and it was not that he even tasted that good. Besides, it was only three or four mouthfuls before he threw me off.
371 паперова сторінка
Дата публікації оригіналу
2017
Рік виходу видання
2016
Видавництво
Reardon Publishing
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Цитати

    b5480591477цитуєминулого місяця
    Being a vampire is not like in the movies; it is boring, and having the whole world out to get you just because you have better teeth than they do is unfair and totally specie-ist. I don’t go on about humans having short puny teeth and odd smells, now, do I?
    Well, to try and educate you a little before the bell rings and you all go back to the trees with the other apes, I am going to explain just how and why my life is so unfair in being a teenage vampire.
    Where should I start? No, not at the beginning, unless you wish me to discuss potty training or my special gift of being sick over things that were dry-clean only. Instead, let me start at the worst age possible, like right now: a teenager, and at a time in my life when I could die a thousand deaths daily in indescribable ways as I am forced to face the unending, living hell. Yes, you guessed it; it’s called high school.
    And by the way, my name is Amy, and this is my life, if you can call it a life. Okay, so just sit back, shut up, and let me tell you all about it; if you fidget, then I should warn you that I was not joking about having better teeth than you, and they are sharp!
    b3025182343цитує2 місяці тому
    it was sex then a meal afterwards.
    b3025182343цитує2 місяці тому
    thank you, that was nice; would you like to go out for a meal now?”
    Heck, I’m a vampire!
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