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Richard Osman

The Thursday Murder Club

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  • Anaцитуєторік
    I honestly don’t know what to do with the Tupperware I used. If you’ve used two Tupperware containers to help mix the ashes of a dear friend and a woman he loved, without letting their children know, is it more disrespectful to keep them, or to throw them away?
  • Anaцитуєторік
    I was very careful tipping out the ashes, because, much as I liked Bernard, I didn’t want him all over my worktop.
  • Anaцитуєторік
    When Father Mackie broke down at this, we sent Ron to hold him and the two of them stayed there quite some while. Elizabeth, Ibrahim and I stayed on the bench and took in
    the view. I like it when men cry. Not too much, but this was just right.
  • Anaцитуєторік
    No, the only person too smart to be caught around here is Bogdan.

    Don’t you think he killed Tony Curran? I do. I’m sure he had a good reason, and I look forward to asking him. But not until he’s fitted my new replacement window, because what if he takes offence?
  • Anaцитуєторік
    Someone came down from the Sun to talk to him, but Ron was having none of that. He told them to park outside Larkin Court and then had them clamped.
  • Anaцитуєторік
    There is another dating app for gay men called Grindr. Perhaps it’s for gay women too? I don’t know, I didn’t ask. Would they use the same one? That would be nice I think.
  • Anaцитуєторік
    I met Gerry at a dance I had decided to go to at the last minute to spite my mother. If I hadn’t gone then we never would have met. So I know that’s an inefficient way of finding true love, but it worked for us.
  • Anaцитуєторік
    Jason Ritchie takes a swig from his bottle of beer. Ron has a beer too, as he always does if Jason is around. It is important to be a role model.
  • Anaцитуєторік
    I knew everything would be fine really, because at that age, everything always was.
  • Anaцитуєторік
    ‘You know when you look into someone’s eyes for the first time and the whole world breaks apart? And you just think, “Of course, of course, this is what I’ve been waiting for all this time”?
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