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Emily NagoskiEmily Nagoski
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The official bio is:"Emily Nagoski has a PhD in Health Behavior with a doctoral concentration in human sexuality from Indiana University (IU), and a master’s degree (also from IU) in Counseling, with a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She has taught graduate and undergraduate classes in human sexuality, relationships and communication, stress management, and sex education."What all that means, really, is that I am here to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. It's a small goal in the grand scheme of things - I'm not trying to bring peace to the Middle East or repair the ozone layer - but it's a goal that I think truly does have the power to change lives and, ultimately, the world.You can find me online: Twitter @enagoski Facebook Emily NagoskiMedium @emilynagoskiBlog
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So what’s the right context?
Think about what your body recognizes as the behaviors that save you from lions. When you’re being chased by a lion, what do you do?
You run.
So when you’re stressed out by your job (or by your sex life), what do you do?
You run . . . or walk, or get on the elliptical machine or go out dancing or even just dance around your bedroom. Physical activity is the single most efficient strategy for completing the stress response cycle and recalibrating your central nervous system into a calm state. When people say, “Exercise is good for stress,” that is for realsie real
Think about what your body recognizes as the behaviors that save you from lions. When you’re being chased by a lion, what do you do?
You run.
So when you’re stressed out by your job (or by your sex life), what do you do?
You run . . . or walk, or get on the elliptical machine or go out dancing or even just dance around your bedroom. Physical activity is the single most efficient strategy for completing the stress response cycle and recalibrating your central nervous system into a calm state. When people say, “Exercise is good for stress,” that is for realsie real
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Stress and love (in the form of attachment) can be companions to sex. Sex strengthens bonds between partners, helps each partner feel safe, cherished, and supported in a world where we are not always safe, where sometimes our only shield from chaos and terror is our chosen family.
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It doesn’t help either you or your Feels if you shove them in your partner’s face and say, “ACCEPT THIS!” How would you respond if your partner did that to you? Unless you’re a saint of unrivaled patience and tolerance, you would get defensive—and fair enough. Shoving your Feels in your partner’s face is using your feelings as a weapon, and that’s never okay
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